From the Vault- Quiet: Running

From the Vault- Quiet: Running

In my quest to find quiet in my life so I could more fully take care of my introvert self, I found that running is a great time for quiet.

By changing my approach to running from it being a horrible exercise that just needed to get done and to make it as bearable as possible to it being my Mommy Alone Time has helped my entire life. It’s hard to find literal quiet alone time as a mom to an extrovert elementary aged child and a Belgian Malinois. I work with kids- sometimes visiting up to four different childcare centers a day. As an introvert, having quiet alone time is a NEED not a want in order for me to function.

How did I do it?

One of the many local greenway trails that I run on

There is a book, ‘Quiet Running’, that I read. Honestly it was a slog for me, but the general idea behind the book is that running can be a moving meditation. The book goes into extreme detail and gives you exercises to complete- like pay attention to how your foot feels when it hits the ground while you run- but I didn’t do them. It was too much for me. I did, however, take the overall approach of running as a meditation to my running practice just to see what would happen.

I am now one of those people who will go for a run and not listen to music or podcasts or audio books or anything. I just run. It gives me the room I need to get the quiet I need in my life. The physical act of running has led me to be able to experience the mental quiet I need to recharge and be the best me I can be. No earphones or external noise helps me focus on nature- last year there was a mockingbird that had somehow learned to wolf whistle and would do it every time i ran past their territory, I’ve watched owls swoop in to roost for the day, I’ve seen rabbits and raccoons and skunks and one lost duck hunter.

Some days I just zone out, no thoughts, just movement. Some days I run through my list of things that need to get done. Other times I think ahead about what I want to accomplish and where I want to be in the coming months and years. I will spend time working through emotions- I need to pound out some anger or frustration- still waiting for the cops to be called on me when I let loose a primal yell in the middle of the woods. If I have our dog with me I will talk through things with her. The time I spend running is one of the few times I feel like I can fully be me, I don’t have to censor myself in front of my child, coworkers or acquaintances, I have the space to have big emotions without anyone becoming collateral damage.

But one of the biggest benefits I see is this: I’ve told my daughter that we go running (when she was too little and had to come with me) not because she wanted to do it but because Mommy needs it to be a good Mommy. I don’t know about you all, but I don’t ever remember being explicitly taught that as a mom I still need outlets for myself. I need things that are just for me to be able to be a functioning human being. And I have been explaining that to my child since she was born so as she grows and becomes an adult and mom (she told me the other day that she wants to be a mommy just like me) she knows that she can still do things just for her, whatever they may be.

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